Aching Knees

My knees hurt.

Wait. That sounds bad. Rest assured. I have not done anything "dirty" since my personal hero metamorphosed into my Personal Prodigal (fanfare plays). [Reference Frigid (part 2)]. Well, that is unless you include the idea of sweat as dirty. Just the idea, mind you. Actual sweat would take effort.

So nothing dirty was done, but my knees ache. They have been hurting for the last couple of days, actually. Why, you ask? Well, it is simple. I did something stupid... and it starts with a short story.

Do you remember last Spring when my pipes froze and I went down to stay with my parents for a short while? [Searching for entry... Hmm... Maybe I didn't write about it? I thought I did. Oh, well.]

Well, I had been doing 50 strokes a day on my rowing machine before I went. (Only 50 strokes you ask? What is the point? More on this in a minute.) I figured I would keep exercising by using my sister-in-law's treadmill while I was there but it was broken so I stopped exercising altogether. When I came back home, my rower was here but my habit was broken and I didn't get back into it... until sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. That is when I decided that it is ridiculous for me to NOT do 50 strokes a day on my rower before I get into the shower each morning.

This is the brilliance of 50 strokes a day. It is JUST 50 strokes. Doing them takes about 2.5 to 3 minutes and I can get them done on my way to the shower. Minimal effort is better than no effort and any daily effort at all can work itself into a habit of doing something rather than nothing. (Brilliant!) Plus, those small efforts do work my muscles enough to start them toning and tightening. So, a few months down the road like we now are, I actually have some nice musculature under the flab I would like to lose. On top of all that, it is pretty ridiculous to NOT exert the minimal effort to do just 50 strokes a day. So, it is much easier to kick myself in the behind to get them done than it would be to carve out half an hour or more for a more traditional exercise routine. Now back to the story of why my knees hurt...

My knees do not hurt because I have been using my rowing machine. No. They hurt because my baby brother (who does not even like me) is coming home from Thailand for a few weeks around Easter and my mother is going berserk about wanting a "whole family" photo while he is here. Keep in mind that we already have "whole family" photos (my sister's wedding photos, for example), some that even include my Personal Prodigal's [fanfare plays] former superhero persona. But those are not good enough. No. Now there is another child in the family and, more importantly, my baby brother's permanent residence is now in Thailand. So, yes, that's right. It is Thailand's fault that my knees hurt.

As it turns out, 50 strokes a day on my rower is minimal effort that works to tone and tighten my muscles (which is good because muscle burns more calories than fat does) and build a habit of exercising BUT it is not enough to lose any inches off my waist. My appearance in my sister's wedding photo was bad enough. I do not want another professional family portrait of me with a fat belly. Now, I am already 10 pounds lighter than I was during my sister's wedding. But I am also 10 pounds heavier than I was at the end of summer. With two months left until Easter, I decided to take action. I pulled out my old Gazelle that was all folded up and comfortable behind the sofa in my office. That was kind of a stupid thing to do because the Gazelle works parts of me that the rower does not.

I  have decided to do short "cardio" sessions twice a day. (By short, I mean about 10 - 15 minutes -- and there is still no sweat involved ...yet.) Yesterday, I did only one session of 13 minutes. Guess what? The Gazelle works my knees and now... my knees hurt.