Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Crap! An Intruder

Yesterday morning, I awoke around the usual time for me during daylight savings time: just a little before 6 am. I let my eyes stay closed as consciousness slipped over me in the early morning darkness of my bedroom.

There was a noise from downstairs. Just rousing from sleep, I was not alarmed. Then I heard another noise. Upstairs in my bedroom, I thought it sounded like it was coming from the kitchen. I moved my hand out of the covers to feel the warm lump on my right side, just to be sure my dog was still beside me and downstairs by his dish of water. Sure enough, my fingers felt the texture of fur. I wondered why he was not reacting to the noise downstairs. He barks at everything.

I heard another noise. It was just a small noise. A knot began to form in the pit of my stomach as I realized that an intruder must be in my house. It occurred to me that the intruder was awfully brazen to carelessly knock into things and make noise in my home in the wee hours of the morning. The intruder not caring whether or not he was discovered, I knew I was in mortal peril.

My first thought was of my pellet rifle. "Crap!" I thought, "It is downstairs in the living room. What a stupid place to keep a rifle. It does me no good there in the middle of the night."

Then I thought of my cell phone. (I don't have a house phone upstairs.) It occurred to me that I could call someone to be on the line with me while I checked downstairs for the noise. But I remembered I had forgotten to bring it upstairs with me when I went to bed the night before. I thought, "Crap! I left it in my purse last night -- downstairs."

I thought, "Well, I could just wait here and pretend to sleep until he goes away."

Then it occurred to me, "Crap! I have to pee."

The normal morning pressure of my bladder began to feel more and more uncomfortable. I needed to get up and go downstairs. (That is where the bathroom is.) I looked again at the dog cuddled beside me, still undisturbed by the downstairs noises in my house. He was warm and breathing so he clearly must be in a deep sleep. That I could fix.

A knot in my throat, I hoped the intruder would hear the noise of me getting the dog up and leave before we got downstairs. I roused the dog, making sure to be loud enough for the intruder to hear. Uncurling the ball of himself, the dog stood with a lazy yawn. He stretched his front legs like a cat might do, then sat for me to apply the wireless collar to his neck.

I listened as I put the dog's collar on him. There was no noise of hasty departure from downstairs. All was quiet. I wondered if the intruder was waiting to do us ill. The dog, completely unconcerned, made his way downstairs to wait for me to come open the door. I watched until he was at the point on the staircase where his sensitive nose would be able to catch a whif of the intruder's scent.

Nothing. No perked ears. No growl. No bark. He just plodded to the door. Breathing easier, I followed and let him outside. Then, cautiously, I looked around the house as I made my way to the bathroom. No intruder was in sight.

Walking back to the door to let my dog inside again, I heard a noise. It was coming from my French door. I looked to see what it was. The plastic sheeting I put up to keep the wind out for the winter had come undone. The wind was causing it to flap against the glass of the door and make noises in my kitchen.

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