A Sign

It was Friday morning and I was standing in front of the bathroom vanity, shedding pajamas so I could hop in the shower. I hung my head, gazing at the ring in my hand. It is just a gold band, rather than my wedding ring. My wedding ring is too big for my finger now and I do not have the heart to resize it to fit.

The last time my ring was sized, the sizing was a combination Christmas and 13th anniversary gift from my husband. He had added gold to the band so I could wear it again. Rather than risk losing my wedding ring now that my fingers are smaller and my husband is "in the far country," I substituted a gold-colored band from my jewelry collection to represent my Biblical marital status while I wait for God's perfect timing in the restoration of my marriage.

Recently, I have been feeling skeptical about my restoration. Maybe I would rather not have my cheating husband back. He was abusive, selfish and cruel to my children and me for a very long time during our legal marriage. Now I am stuck alone and bound to our vows while he screws around with his mistress and he still tortures me. "I deserve better than that if I am going to go through the agony of a Stand. Don't I?" I asked myslef and God. "Let that homewrecker deal with his abuse until she gets what she is after and leaves his a**. Let them both learn the hard way. They deserve each other."


"On the other hand," I continued to muse in front of the vanity mirror, "I need help sometimes because of my disabilities and I cannot work a full-time job. I also do not relish the idea of being unmated for the rest of my natural life. Yet, Jesus' words regarding divorce and remarriage were quite clear. So my options are limited: Wait for my husband to get a clue and come home, live alone until he passes away, or accept the eternal consequences of Biblical adultery."

 As I gazed at my hands in front of that bathroom vanity, mostly-naked, I silently beseeched my heavenly Father for a sign to either continue my Stand for restoration -or- just set myself upon living alone until one of us dies. It was only a half-formed prayer, though, because I needed to decide upon a sign that I would recognize to indicate I should wait -or- not wait. As it turns out, I never did make up my mind on the signs. I got distracted by the warmth of my shower and left my prayer half-formed.


Here is where God steps in. The next day, Saturday, I got my sign. I did not recognize it at first, but it was the sign I had asked for. Out of the blue, my baby boy (now 25) sent me a "friend request" on Facebook. Was it really a sign? Or was it just coincidence? Well, it did not really matter because I did not know if it was a sign to continue Standing and waiting -or- a sign to give up my fervent prayers and determine to live alone. In my frustration and distress, I silently ranted.


"What does this mean? What am I supposed to do? My son is family, which would lend itself to continuing to Stand. But he also detests my husband and thinks I am better off without him. You know, Lord, You really could be a little clearer about what You want me to do." I was not really expecting another sign to lead me in the right direction. I was just blowing off steam and stating my frustrations with the sign I had been given. I figured I was on my own to figure out what I am supposed to do (again). But God is better than that.

Today is Sunday. It was afternoon before I turned on my computer and I did not check Facebook right away when I did. In fact, it was several hours before I checked but, when I did, I had a message waiting for me from a lady who was not on my friends list.

It read, "Hey Savilla, are you a stander? If you are I have a book I would love to send you, that have helped many in their road to restoration. =)"

I do not know who Savilla is. Perhaps she was the intended recipient of this message? But I do recognize an answer to prayer when one clubs me over the head. God sent an unknowing messenger to "help [me] in [my] road to restoration. =)"