Weird but True

This may sound kind of strange. But bear with me.

Today is Saturday so, this afternoon, I took my daughter to Mass -- as I am wont to do on Saturdays. But I really did not want to go. Before I left for church, I just did not want to leave the house. I felt tired and I just wanted to sit in my recliner and watch TV. Then all the way to church, I felt like skipping Mass and going out to dinner instead. But I know myself well enough to know that if I did not make it to Saturday afternoon Mass, I probably wouldn't make it to Mass at all this weekend.

Thankfully, I have recently been reading The Bondage Breaker by Neil Ar..something. However, I have not gone through the final steps in the book yet. So it occurred to me -- and this is the part that may sound a little weird, that maybe there was a demonaic influence at work here that was, for some reason I did not know, trying to keep me from church this weekend.

I think I might have been right.

When we went into the sanctuary and sat down, there were Stewardship sign-up forms at the end of every pew. A reader by nature, I picked one up and looked through it. Then I folded the form and put it in my purse. I still felt very uncomfortable and just wanted to leave the church. I did not want to be there!

The first reading was read. I still wanted to pick up and leave. The second reading was read. Unlike usual, I did not open the Sunday Missile to follow along with the readings. I felt too distracted. I really just wanted to go. The Gospel was read. I don't even remember which Gospel it was. I just wished Mass would end. And then the sermon began. Father Joe was talking about how he had the opportunity to experience all seven sacraments in the same week for the first time in his carreer. But that is all I heard. I was pretty much spaced out.

Usually, by this point in the Mass I would be paying good attention. But that was not the case this evening. All of a sudden, it occurred to me and I decided that the reason I must be feeling so spaced out and like I wanted to leave may be because I was meant to sign up for some Stewardship service.

The Stewardship opportunity that just drew me into it was the Seperation/Divorce group. I have been studying a lot about the subject and Standing in the gap for the restoration of my marriage since November 2007. So I have a lot to offer -- especially to those who are just beginning their journeys. But I have questions about the group before I commit myself to it. First, I have to make sure that the Catholic ideology is being taught, rather than secular views accepted, before I have anything to do with the group. So I filled out the form and turned it in during the collection.

As soon as the forms were collected, I was free! I no longer felt like leaving the church. It is now obvious to me that somebody feels threatened about my joining the fight for marriage. That makes me kind of happy. But at the same time, it is more than a little scary because the negative feelings I felt were clearly not from God.