Saturday, November 20, 2010

Facebook Fight

I feel emotionally worn out. At the beginning of the week, I posted a link to my book trailer on my Facebook page.


Well, my estranged husband's cousin saw the title of my book (he has seen it on my page before, by the way) and took offense to it, saying that I should never tell my impressionable young children that their dad "abandoned" us, and that doing so "smacks" of one parent using their position to poison their children against the other parent. He said that parents should keep their disagreements between themselves and leave the children out of it.

Okay. I don't disagree. I firmly believe that children should be as protected as possible from parental discord. Truly, I do. But my husband has not even visited our children in 3 years (his choice), and my kids are fully aware that he has now and has always had an open door to come home and try to work out our marital problems. I seriously doubt that putting the word "abandonment" in my book's title is going to alert them to anything they don't already feel for themselves. Besides that, the youngest of our "impressionable young children" is 16 1/2 now. (My oldest is 25.) She kind of already has a mind of her own.

Okay, back to what I was saying. The cousin made the comment on my Facebook wall. I responded by saying the book is not for children and my children are not allowed to read it until they are married. He came back at me with more garbage. Then my friend, Jason, jumped into the fray to my rescue me. (Hurray, for Jason!)...Which led to three full days of argument between the two of them on my Facebook page. During this battle, I got a couple of people in there to help me try to break it up -- to no avail. By the end of the confrontation (16 printed pages in 8 point font later), my husband's cousin had spilled the beans about his own extra-marital affair, his wife's extra-marital affair, the fact that he never wanted to be my friend, and revealed that he and his family fallaciously believed I was committing adultery against my husband for our entire marriage!

These statements are all very hurtful to me. The claims of infidelity about me, especially, are hurtful because they are so opposite of the truth. Even though I understand that those living only in the flesh really do not understand we who live also in the Spirit, the unfounded accusations of infidelity on my part truly cut deeply into me. I am living as a widow since I was 37 because of my husband's adultery. If I were the slutty adultress the cousin claims I am, my lifestyle would not be solitary. It would definitely include men.

No matter what I said, this cousin would not accept a gentle answer. He just kept hammering at me in his responses to my friend and defender, digging deeper into my wounds. Finally, I had to start deleting comments off my page because the two men would not stop, and just let the cousin have it. I reached back into my past and pulled out the WHOLE truth. That shut him up and he moved over to a different thread on my page to try to bash me there -- but I shut him down right away by saying I would delete all negative comments. He shut up. The next day, he had deleted himself as my Facebook friend. I am thankful I did not have to do that for him.

Yesterday, I printed up the whole ugly Facebook fight and sent it in the mail to my estranged husband, who refuses to get involved in this confrontation on the grounds that he is trying to "get on with" his life. (The last thing I need is for him to be misinformed about what happened.) Whether or not he wants to get involved, he is involved because his blood-relative was attacking me (his widow in all aspects except that which frees me to remarry) for his sake -- and that makes him involved.


I am still emotionally drained today. I think this horrible attack was due to the enemy's nervousness about my new book, due to be released on November 28. It must be destined to make some serious waves in the pool of sin.

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