I keep an occasional eye on a few discussion boards on Facebook. I am not generally interested in the topics, but I use them to study human interaction. In addition to my study of interaction, I study the moderators. One moderator is particularly interesting because his apparent psychotype matches that of my estranged husband, whom I would like home.
One day, quite some time ago, this same moderator posed a topic question which led to a single statement regarding marriage that caused me to wonder my husband's opinion. Not knowing if he would even respond, I emailed him. Surprisingly, he answered. His reply was not really a direct answer to the question posed, but it was very interesting.
He said (paraphrasing), "True. Once respect is gone, the marriage is pretty much over."
The other day, I touched on the topic of respect. Do you remember? I defined respect as an action. I think a simple simile might be "consideration." I further showed how the respect a man gives to a woman increases her admiration of him. My husband posed that lack of respect ends the marriage. I think many battered and abused spouses would disagree but, somehow, I think he meant something other than what he really said.
In my last post, if you recall, I stated that women want respect in a relationship and men crave admiration. So what I think my husband may have meant by his statement is that when admiration (a feeling) is gone, the feelings of love in the marriage also go. (Love itself, however, is another Verb. More on that in another post.) A woman's view might be different. She might say that when respect (an action) is gone, feelings of love also go.
Follow this: A man's respect inspires a woman's admiration which inspires a man's respect (etc.) which inspires mutual adoration (loving feelings). My hypothesis is that when either respect or admiration fails, romantic relationships are jeaopardized. Whereas relationships can certainly survive on love (an action) alone, the mutual happiness and satisfaction of a marriage rests with each partner for the other and the Marriage (verb) of Admiration and Respect.
One day, quite some time ago, this same moderator posed a topic question which led to a single statement regarding marriage that caused me to wonder my husband's opinion. Not knowing if he would even respond, I emailed him. Surprisingly, he answered. His reply was not really a direct answer to the question posed, but it was very interesting.
He said (paraphrasing), "True. Once respect is gone, the marriage is pretty much over."
The other day, I touched on the topic of respect. Do you remember? I defined respect as an action. I think a simple simile might be "consideration." I further showed how the respect a man gives to a woman increases her admiration of him. My husband posed that lack of respect ends the marriage. I think many battered and abused spouses would disagree but, somehow, I think he meant something other than what he really said.
In my last post, if you recall, I stated that women want respect in a relationship and men crave admiration. So what I think my husband may have meant by his statement is that when admiration (a feeling) is gone, the feelings of love in the marriage also go. (Love itself, however, is another Verb. More on that in another post.) A woman's view might be different. She might say that when respect (an action) is gone, feelings of love also go.
Follow this: A man's respect inspires a woman's admiration which inspires a man's respect (etc.) which inspires mutual adoration (loving feelings). My hypothesis is that when either respect or admiration fails, romantic relationships are jeaopardized. Whereas relationships can certainly survive on love (an action) alone, the mutual happiness and satisfaction of a marriage rests with each partner for the other and the Marriage (verb) of Admiration and Respect.
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